This past weekend, Tara and I ventured back to Omaha for Rachel and Jesse’s wedding. The 
festivities had been highly anticipated. We were excited to see everyone, and were also very much looking forward to enjoying a wedding without all the stress and planning. And so we boarded the plane at 5:50 Friday morning, and after attempting to salvage the night’s sleep on the first leg to Minneapolis, then sprinting to the tram, to a completely different terminal in 15 minutes, arriving in time, but close enough that the nice lady said: “Good! You made it. You must be Andrew and Tara”, we made it to Omaha by 11:30 that morning, under much better weather conditions than the last time we flew into Eppley.
My uncle Bruce picked us up, which meant that Tara got another nap while he and I energetically discussed C++, MFC, and various other nerdery on the way to meet my parents for lunch. After lunch, we had to seek out more coffee before the rehearsal, and the rest of the evening’s fun—the Delta coffee just wasn’t cutting it.
If I had expected the rehearsal to be similar to the fun, light-hearted nature, of ours, I was slightly mistaken. Immediately, Nazi Church Woman got things started by announcing that no drinks are allowed in the sanctuary. She continued while Tara and I quickly found programs and hymnals to hide our coffee cups behind. I will hand it to them, though: The pastor and Nazi Church Woman sure were on top of things. The efficiency was outstanding.
When the pastor called for the reader–my job–not wanting to hold things up, I scrambled from my seat in the pews, clamored over Chris and Ben to get into the aisle, and then scurried through the middle of the wedding party before crossing over to the pulpit (just for added effect). My efforts received the desired laugh from most everyone except for Nazi Church Woman, who snuck up behind me after I was back at my seat, put her hand over my shoulder and onto my chest, as if to constrain me lest I attempt a gettaway, and spoke quietly, but firmly, into my ear: “Go out to the outside aisle in the ceremony. DO NOT go up the middle.” She disappeared as quickly as she came, leaving Tara and I bewildered, but relieved that our coffee had not been confiscated.
The rehearsal dinner was at Embassy Suites. We got there in time for free cocktail hours, so naturally there was the frantic passing of room keys so even those not staying in the hotel that night could get sufficiently lubricated. Amanda Cohee asked me how married life is, to which I responded loudly: “The sex is AMAZING”. Her’s and Craig’s jaws dropped, and Rachel’s Dad, who had been standing nearby, walked away shaking his head. That’s just one of those questions that is both slightly awkward and gets asked so often, you get sick of answering. There’s that feeling that whatever response you give, your marriage is being evaluated. Besides, who isn’t thinking about sex when they ask that question?
Afterwards was the bachelor party which was a trip to church in comparison to my own bachelor party, but was still quite fun. Jake came as well, but only long enough to have one drink as he wanted to go meet up with a guy. After eating his entire lime slice, peel and all, in an effort to freshen his breath, he departed. Jesse, meanwhile, was being coaxed by the rest of us to put on the 48DD pink bra that the best man had procured specifically for this purpose. He finally did put it on, and allowed us to stuff newspaper in it, but adamantly refused to put the thong on over his jeans, and clipped it onto his keys carabineer instead.
The wedding itself was pretty awesome. Rachel was beautiful (and so were the bridesmaids). I successfully completed the reading without laughing at the part of the poem that said “…breast to breast…”. I have come along way since freshman year when I was caught by the band director making perverted gestures with a wooden bell mallet handle… But, yes, the ceremony was fun. You could tell everyone was having a good time up there.
It goes without saying that the reception was a blast. Aside from the fact that several of us completely missed the wedding party introduction and all of the toasts because we were priming in our hotel room, that is. I can genuinely say I was pretty bummed about it. I never would have expected all that stuff to happen so fast. There was a live swing band that performed. This automatically took the classiness of our reception, and multiplied it by 15. It was a lot of fun dancing to the swing band, but I have to admit that I was missing some of the wedding classics like “Paradise by the dashboard light”, “Cha cha slide”, and, of course, “The Chicken Dance”. Amanda played some songs from her Non-I-Pod during the band’s breaks, but was reprimanded when she cued up Yellowcard…
After the reception, there was an afterparty in Jake’s room. A few North Dakotans showed up (cousins of Rachel) and we laughed at there accents before Tara and I eventually retired to our own hotel room to meet breast to breast…
And so it was a fun-filled weekend of spending time with people that I haven’t seen since my own wedding. Weddings are so much fun, and there are so many this year—I can’t wait!
